My Exclusive Daily Rants and What Not
This was entered by Black rose at 23:34 0 comments
Wow 5Nov2009 was a long time from now. And after 5mths, here's another lame post of mine. Should I say I've got news? Hmm.. Well, to most of my friends and deepest IYFers, most of you haven't known this. But yea, news is coming your way... Soon I hope..
Then its 14th April 2010 today. I having hectic schedules trying to cope with my lectures, tutorials and also work. Oh man.. And there's exams coming up again. 3May till 10May exams. Then after that will be 6weeks of Teaching Assisstantship (And the worse thing is I havent known the exact location of the darn school given to me). And oh yea.. You might have wondered why it would be so hard for me to cope with all these since I'm still "young".. It's just cause I haven't been feeling so good lately..
And not forgetting some members of my group work that picked up fights with me due to some personal crap which she mentioned.. I just hate it.. I always do what is best for them and for the group. And then it is all taken for granted and forgotten when it comes to time, I'm the one who is not feeling well. And to that particular 'someone' YEA GET THIS!! I HAVENT FORGIVEN YOU!!
And to fill in my readers on the issue let me post this person's post to me and do give me your opinions on what you think after you've read it
I finished my credit in the middle of sending the text.
This is what I got to say...
The text I received, I dont like it. Whoever it's from, whether it's from you or her or him, I dont care who it's forwarded from, but it basically made a point for me to have to do this, to say this. Making a clearity of how I feel.
I do not want any CAPS locks unless we are in a joking mood, I do NOT like tones and ANY f-ing attitudes in my team... In my team, I do not want to have any of our voice raised in anger of any NEGATIVE sort. Eff you, if you got a probloem. You can talk in a civil manner. WE ARE NOT KIDS. So what if we are behaving like one, SO ARE YOU!
Please la... We are all Adults. Lets behave like one. Okay... I have had enough of all these bull shit. I have been cool and trying not to get too involved in vulgary and ur violent games. Maybe you all think it's fun and acceptable, but sorry... PLEASE RESPECT MY PRTESENCE AND MY FEELINGS... I do not want to see any more people getting BULLIED physically or verbally... So, what if it's just a joke -PLEASE REMEMBER TO SAY SORRY!! Damn it man, I cannot stand any of ur violent games/ways/whatever. I WILL NOT ACCEPT ANYMORE PUBLIC VIOLENCE! Damn it.
Now, in my text...
Team, tomorrow we will be staying back to settle our science. I have not much to say except, lets come with an excited heart, positive energy and enthusiasm. How hard can that be? WHoever among us have personal issues, stress, pissed off about whatever... that is your problem, not mine, not ours. SO KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, AND NO NEED TO SHOW THE SOUR Face! Some of you know how to say other people, learn to reflect on yourself too.
Moreover, I do NOT give a shit how you feel inside, just do not put your emotions and your problems on the table. And eventually make the rest of us suffer your crap. It's YOUR crap, why do WE have to suffer with you. That issue is to be delt OUTSIDE. We can talk about whatever crap ur going tru OUTSIDE. Learn to differentiate priorities with the venues/places AND PEOPLE!
Also, if I can carry off my other last min work with enthusiasm and still pull it off, SO CAN WE! I have had enough of SHITTY attitudes from some of you. Those of you who knows who you are, you dont have to tell me, just correct yourself.
If you got a problem with anything or anyone of us, lets come together and talk in a civil manner. NO NEED FOR Tones, Attitudes, and Physical of Verbal Violence! We are ADULTS! So BE an adult. I dont care if you are physically unfit. It is NO excuse for lack of manners and respect from each other. We are a team and we are friends.
I WANT AN ENTHUSIASTIC and positive team. Even if one of us made a last minute or spontaneous mistake or error! ---that is I have one. EXAMPLE such as now, I forgot to ask my mum for the paper clips last Sat. And she does not go to work until Monday tomorrow. And UNLESS you can be fucking patience, then good. A slight error... does NOT mean the end of the fucking world OKAY! This is just an example of a slight error. We are still going to stay back to do our stuff, we will sacrifice our time, and ourselves... those who doesnt then it's automatic out of the game... Easy. No need for violence, no need for loud noises. At LEAST we are all participating, and sacrificing something.. We are doing our best. I am doing my best I can... I forget a lot of things, because I have my reasons, and I make up for them ALL the time. I WILL bring my stuff, that is I will ask my mum to pass the clips to me maybe lunch time when she pass me my food... she can hand me the material and all... FINDING ALTERNATIVES... Let us all take a chill pill and see through this positively and civilly okay?
And if one of us is not willing to help out whatever, we just civilly remind in a FRIENDLY or casual way... that, if s/he cant do it no matter what... Either no laptop kah or no time kah, or too pissed off kah, whatever you case is... I dunno abt the rest but I wont hate you, but you will be automatically out of my game. No violence involved. Just talking civilly... Do you get my point now? Or do I need to clarify and define to you all more clearly?
NO MORE TERRORISM AND LACK OF RESPECT! We are a team. So BEHAVE LIKE ONE. We can do this! Either we fucked up or what, at least we pulled it through TOGETHER! Ok? ok.
I have had enough of nonsense and I dont want to lose anyone of you in the process. Friends are friends. We are not some ANIMALS or pupils! We are Civil people. Lets be decent and talk and do things in a civil manner.
If you do not like this rule that Im stating, at least bear with me for a couple more of our group works. And then you can go back to your violent games. But at least around me, please show some respect about my feelings. What wrong did I ever do to you anyway, just my little favour I ask of you lot. Please respect my emotions, I CANNOT work with negative energy. You give me, negativity, you can just expect negativity and SHITs from me. I warn you now, so you wont have to waste your energy holding grudge on me like Ms. Jean. She gave me shitty attitude, I gave her shit back. Fair in square.
Because, what is the use of being perfect or being powerful (always winning, always seen as the Best one or the Good one). What is the use of being offended and not see your flaws?
Because lets look at the 'popular' group... P.E or Dya and so on... Or the 'Alim' groups... Limah, Saaidah, Fads, Filah, Rysah, and so on... the 'bimbos' group.... Zeerah, Fizah, Huda and so on...
Come on... LOOK at them. Open your eyes and LOOK! THEY SUCK! Yet they have fellowship, teamwork... good wills, bonds.... They all talk it our in a civil manner, whatever probs they have. Or at least, they work WITH enthusiasm! They MAY suck, or out of topic... But they worked TO-GET-HER... as a team, as a FAMILY....
Why cant we be like them? Right? Why continue with so many disagreements... Come on... What I noticed that's breaking us up is the lack of respect for one another... Come on , lets shake hands and deal with the main issue, lets come together as a team... just to get this over and done with, and then get on with our lives...
I just need us to have and show some respect. Respect and manners... please. These are not so hard to do. Unfit or not.
One of you please fwd this email to Salihin.
Each of us have our own personal issues... Yna may be the lack of laptop, Salihin maybe his lack of energy, Hannah you have your own probs.... So lets learn to be flexible...
If you say that it's almost impossible to get us to cooperate, then look at yourself. How did you ask the question in the first place. If you had used a tone on me and demand me to tell you when are my free slots, I will fuck you in the face. OF COURSE I will hesitate to tell you anything. No threatening or sarcasm please...
That is all I have to say. I have been keeping my cool for as long as I can remember. Since last semester pun ada... Second semester, I was only minding my own business, didnt wanna get too involved. Until now... it's TOO much. I ahve to say something.
So forgive me, and respect my pleas.
See you all tomorrow. Good night
Basically what is in yellow is what this person said. Do tell me what you all feel about it okay?? Thanks. And that's all for me now.
Note to all IYFers and friends: Just wait for the news which is going to come in a shocking manner. Sorry.. Do know I still love you all..
This was entered by Black rose at 04:48 0 comments
Wow... It's been a long time I haven't posted anything on this blog.. I didn't even remember I have one..lol.. I'm in Limbang now. The actual plan was to release stress here, but then, I ended up bringing along all my stress with me here.. Not even a litttle bit is released. ARGH STRESS!!! Got so much work to do and then got SOOO MANY dramas to complete EVERY WEEK!! It's like SHIT!! It's like thinking of so many scripts every week.. There's so many things I have to remember until I even forgot so many other things like reports, essays and other things.
As for me&Jonathan, of course, there are up and downs.. but then we're going through the hard times together. Staying strong on all we need to go through. Now I'm in Limbang just watching TV. Im reli tired and stressful but really hope he can be there for me and understand me well enough.
Awww..the love story on TV is so sweet... LOVE RULES, LOVE REIGNS!! MUAHZ~~
This was entered by Black rose at 22:39 0 comments
I'm IN A RELATIONSHIP again... YEAH!! With Jonathan Ong Boon Kiat.. Do i hear any congratz?? ahaha.. LOLS~~ The relationship is like a little ship on the waves at the beginning.. But now It's getting better I hope.. And stronger too. I hope this is not like one of the rest too.. He's just different from them, I KNOW!! I'm 110% sure.. I learnt so much from him. But i just wished for him to be able to fulfil his promises. I really cant take it when guys give me so many empty promises and expect me to understand them. I've done so much. I've cried so much for him too. I've went through the pains too. What more should I do? What more does he want? What more should I sacrifice? I don't know how to tell him my feelings. When will he start to understand my feelings? When will he stop showing me his :( face whenever he's stress about work? I've got my own stress too!! I DON'T WANT HISTORY TO REPEAT ITSELF AGAIN!!
And guess what? I've seen his family and he's seen my parents too. But I'm still not sure whether I'm hearing a YES or NO.. I just dont know what to do. Can someone please tell me?? But he once told me, he wanted to marry me. And I'm very very happy with that. He also said that if he didn't have this financial problem, he'll marry me even now. Even though it's only been 1-mth plus but then I've got the BEST memories with him. Like the times on the beach, cinema, shooting stars, etc. I just missed all those times when I was in his arms.
This was entered by Black rose at 05:09 0 comments
hey everyone.. Im so bored. And things have been so quiet.. And guess what IM OFFICIALLY SINGLE again!! SUCKS right?? LIFEEE... Im stuck in Miri too.. with nothing to do every day.. Good enough my aunty is letting me use her internet.. so good.. :) No one to call. No one to message.. What am I supposed to do? i have nothing better to do..
My head hurts so much and ive been getting pains all over. No one to care.. My stomach has been grumbling too.. Havent eaten much lately.. Coz everytime I eat, the next second, im in the toilet.. Hate it..
Well..update me on stuff aite... Cya..
This was entered by Black rose at 22:05 0 comments
Hey all my dear IYFers, UBD-ians, SMCS-folks, SMSS-pals, SMSS-juniors, SMSS-seniors, AFC-bro&sis,
and many more other chatters and family members whom I havent mentioned
Please do add my new email. I have already created a new email..
Please do add up... thanks.. see you soon :D
flamingblackrose23@gmail.com
Lots of love,
Hannah
This was entered by Black rose at 09:01 0 comments
